A Married Man’s Valentine’s Day

Yesterday a colleague at the workplace was making a monumental effort to impress his girlfriend on Valentine's Day. He wrote a song packed with century-old cliche quotes like 'you are god's greatest gift to me' which had long lost its charm, composed music using some iPhone app, did his vocal recording and when i was leaving office in the evening, he was applying the final touches to his elaborate demonstration of his love - like running the song in the background of a PowerPoint slideshow of his girlfriend's photos.

I felt like laughing loud, but i didn’t because i was once like he’s now – although I never had this idea of composing a song. Had i done that I’m sure i would still have remained a bachelor – my voice is that good. But I have traveled 40 miles just to buy an Archies card.

At that stage in life, you are required to put your best face in front of her because you are constantly insecure of becoming an EX.

The scene dramatically changes after marriage. She KNOWS you. She knows the underwear you’re wearing has a hole in it. You don’t need to try to walk on water to show her that you are an almighty capable guy. She knows what you can and can’t do, and who you are and aren’t. There’s no fooling her.

Slowly your urge to impress her reduces by default because you know it’s not going to work as well as it did before and there’s that added risk that she could even think you are out of your mind.

But, you can be really glad that she’s silently aware that she has got herself into a fix she cannot come out of (at least not easily) and she has decided to live with the monkey on her back for the rest of her life.

In my experience I have realized that a married woman treads her line much closer to reality than her man. What if I travel 40 miles now and get a wonderful valentine’s card for her when she returns from work?

She would be really happy, of course. But after 5 minutes she would ask:

She: Did you give your daughter a bath?

I: No

She: Did you wash the clothes?

I: No

She: Have you paid the electricity bill?

I: Oh, I forgot.

She: Then what the hell you were doing all day? (fill the next five minutes with gallies)

A valentine’s day is very different for a married man, dear friends. There’s a complete change in priorities and perception.

Perhaps the best gift I can give my wife today is, giving my daughter a bath, washing the clothes and paying the electricity bill.