“I don’t like your brother“, announced my wife after a weekend visit to my brother’s house, “See, he spends all his time in the kitchen with his wife“. This has come from a woman who more than often complains, “Why don’t you learn from your brother, how much he helps his wife“. After the latest statement, I’m confused whether I should support her in the kitchen or not.
I wasn’t shocked by her comment though, because I’m being shocked and re-shocked from the day of our marriage that I have become shock-proof.
One night, shortly after our marriage, she refused to eat her dinner over a minor squabble. But, I’m not someone who will go empty stomach to bed just because there has been a fight and I started on my dinner. Just then, I heard her wailing from the bedroom and ran to her. She was in tears. I asked:
Me: “what happened now?”
She: “how can you eat when I’m not having my dinner?”
Me: *!!*? (Bewildered, searching for words)
Me: “who told you not to eat?”
She: “We had a fight and how can I have food after that?”
Me: @#$!* (pissed off)
Me: “If you don’t want to eat, don’t eat. But I want to eat”, and left the room.
Later in the night in the middle of sleep, I found her sitting on the bed. When asked she said she was feeling hungry. I cut back telling she should have taken her dinner, and for this she said;
She: “You didn’t make me eat. You should have forced me to eat – my mother always does that“.
Though we knew each other for many years before we tied the knot, this was new for me. I started to wonder how many times I may have to force her every time she skips her food.
I thought I should ask her three times with a time gap of 10 minutes with a variation of questions like “c’mon, eat something” and after 10 minutes, “why don’t you try for my sake”, then finally with some extra sugar, “honey, you will feel tired if you don’t” and after that ? ….I would throw up my hands and say, “bull shit – I just don’t care“!!
The ‘three time’ thing did work sometimes, but more often it didn’t, and spoiled my three-time meals as well because she refused to cook!!
But as time went by I learned to respond to all the surprises she threw at me and grew up to become a good wife-manager! She has not ceased to surprise me and still sometimes leaves me looking at the sky for answers but I’m a master tactician now.