How I managed to forget my wife’s birthday every year for the last ten years, and still be alive!!

It’s been three years since I and my wife got married and more than ten years since we proclaimed our love for each other. But, much to my own annoyance, somehow her birthday always skipped my mind every year. It only dawned in me a couple of days after that ‘day’ had quietly passed by. The fact that she remembered my birthday every year and had been the first one to wish me all those years put my forgetfulness in an emotionally difficult spot.

Her birthday falls in the month of April. In the first year – we were in college then, I managed by telling her that I was under tremendous pressure to get a first class in the semester exams, (which usually comes in the month of April) so her birthday simply didn’t come into my thoughts. She didn’t complain as she herself wanted me to pass out of college with a decent rank.

In the second year, when I again forgot, she raised hell. She claimed that my forgetfulness is born out of general lack of commitment and involvement in the relationship, and she almost went her separate way. I don’t remember how I came out of this relationship calamity unscathed. I guess, I must have done something ingenious or told a brilliant lie to patch things up and keep the relationship going.

Image via Google

In the third year, she even gave me clues to help me figure out that it was her birthday that day. Alas, my uselessly pre-occupied brain could not pick up her hints. But this time there was no real danger of a relationship breakage as we had already moved on from the point of keeping our relationship hanging on such trivial things.

In the fourth year she conceived that I have a poor memory for dates and numbers, and stopped bothering me with her clues and hints. We simply celebrated her birthday whenever the lightning of realization struck in my brain – often a month from the actual date.

This continued for the next few years, even after we got married and until last April. This year, I was determined to make up for all the losses in the previous years. I booked a new scooter to be delivered on her birthday – on the 10th of April. I then got over-run by excitement and got the scooter delivered well in advance but I made other elaborate plans to make sure I still sprang in a surprise on the day. In fact me wishing her itself would be a huge surprise.

All the while my wife wasn’t aware of my plans. She didn’t consider the scooter as a gift particularly for her as she knows I will be using it more than her. I think, she simply didn’t expect me to remember her birthday.

Late evening on the eve of her birthday, I bought a small cake and kept it hidden under our cot. I was all set. At 12 midnight I lighted a candle, placed the cake on the bed and woke her up from sleep. I planted a gentle kiss on her cheek, and before her baffled eyes could make any sense out of the set-up, I told, “Happy birthday”. She was bowled-out, stumped or whatever word you would like to see here – she was shocked, and genuinely glad. Next morning I woke up early to carry out the plans I had made in my mind. I still hadn’t told her about the plans. I just wanted to overwhelm her with surprises.

It was half-past nine in the morning when I realized that she had not received any phone call or message wishing her for her birthday. Needless to say, I was confused. I plodded around, beginning to feel like a fool. I didn’t want to clarify it with her friends because that would be the last thing any husband would want to do – it meant ultimate humiliation for a wife, and husbands have every reason to fear for their life. I waited impatiently for a chance to cross-verify the date in her certificates, and when she went to take bath, I ran to the bedroom cupboard where we have kept our certificates. After 10 minutes of rummaging through the files, I found her SSLC certificate.

I scratched my head and plunked down on the cot. In the certificate it was clearly written in bold letters, the date of her birth as 8th April.

About Joshi Mukard (100 Articles)
The author is a wandering soul with no place to call 'home-town'. He was born in Kerala, brought up in several parts of Tamil Nadu, and currently living in Bangalore, shifting his base across the city on a yearly basis with fellow (unfortunate) wanderers, his wife (Libena) and little daughter (Tanaya). Despite all these, the author is a happy soul with no complaints on anything. He wakes up in the morning and sleeps at night and in-between he ducks, stumbles and dances through this world.

52 Comments on How I managed to forget my wife’s birthday every year for the last ten years, and still be alive!!

  1. hahahahahahahahahahahhahaha.. Im surprised she is patient enough 😉 .. Use technology such a mobile phone reminders, computer reminders.. Add her in FAcebook 😉 so u can remember 😀

  2. Vishnuvardhan // April 25, 2011 at 7:10 am // Reply

    ha!ha! Atlast she might thought that why can’t her birthday be on 8th of April, but do remember her birthday next year that is 8th of April.


    Its 10th of April.

  3. Hehehehe…Loved the write up…May be you should have a reliable friend who can remember it for you..It works most of the time.

  4. Extremely humorous…I was in fits of laughter and almost imagining you narrating the story, with your muffled laughter in between (chuckles :D). Keep posting more of them!

  5. :)…whats with men and dates? why does almost every man find it so difficult to remember important dates? maybe u guys r thinking whats with women and dates…right?? hehehe…:D
    Nice post…next year surprise her by ‘wishing’ her on time…:)

  6. Good one, Mr. Joshi!

    Loved it.

  7. Get her birth-date tattooed on your arm. And hats off to the girl to have put up with you for so long.

    • I’m prepared to do that also. Next year I would not want to miss. Yes, she is a patient girl. But let me not appreciate her too much – for my own good !!

  8. Dude, 10 years and you don’t remember your girl’s birthday? I would like to cream you on her behalf 😀

    Anyways I’m bad with dates too but I use Google Calendar which gives me email and SMS reminders before the birthday.

    • Actually I had set alarm in my mobile last year, but weeks before my wife’s birthday, I lost my mobile. Emails – I dont check regularily.

      Ok, next year I hope I will finally remember.

  9. You are a very lucky husband. All along your wife spared you!! Use gadgets as Deepika said or get the dates tattooed as Purba suggested.

  10. Lol! I am gonna remind you next year! XD

  11. you are one lucky person to survive this for years make sure you remember that and dont take her for granted!!!

  12. Really enjoyed this post. Reminded me of someone *looks to the ceiling and whistles*. You have a gem of a wife 🙂

    • Yes, she turned into a gem only recently. In the first three years she used to threaten to kill me, but somehow I managed to escape death penalty…haha.

  13. oh! is this for real, btw i make sure no one ever forgets my birthday becuase i start reminding them 5 days before. i want to make sure veryone has the presents!

  14. hey u hav very interesting stories to tell
    & ur narration is like cherry on the cake
    loved it

  15. Couldn’t stop smiling away!
    thanks.. nice post!

  16. You were used to be like this for years! I cann’t just believe this..Anyway the post was awesome…Plz don’t consider this as a credit..Do remeber her B’day , your wedding day and tanaya’s B’day..Life is not about forgetting days, its all about making all(not exactly) the days memorable.
    NOTE : Advice costs nothing.
    One more thing, You are not the only person like this..Me and my appa also have got amnesia regarding dates…
    But the difference is that I don’t repeat the same mistake once commited…
    For Example : If I wish a person on April 8 by mistake ,the next year I will manage to wish her on some other date …(No repetition of same mistake).So cool na?

  17. You have a wonderful sense of humour and a great style. Loved the post and could empathise with you for forgetting. My L&M never remembers anything, names, dates, you name it. you are still better; he hasn’t remembered my birthday for 36 years now and I am still living with him 😀 I am sure your wife will be recounting some such thing three and half decades hence too 🙂

    • Thanks Zephyr.

      Most men don’t remember dates, names etc. It’s not deliberate. But women often over react to such things. In that respect you are a fantastic women to have taken your L&M’s forgetfulness easy for 36 years. Forgetting a birthday is not a big deal – I wish every women in this world realize that.

  18. Congrats , wish many more such wonderful birthday plans in future . You are inspirations for most of the men .

  19. 🙂 Lol..:D!!Nice post..very well written!:)

  20. Hilarious!! Better luck for next year, bro!! 🙂

  21. Read this again. Very funny. Would like to have your email id. nothing personal about it 🙂

  22. BIRTHDAY ROBOT say: “Sound like Joshi need Birthday reminder. Try and make your wife happy lady.”

  23. For the next time set a reminder on your phone 😉

  24. Is it mean to laugh out loud at someone’s misery, coz I just did! This was hilarious! 😀
    (Though I’ll bet your wife doesn’t think so)!

  25. Joshi Mukard // November 10, 2014 at 7:28 am // Reply

    my wife doesn’t read this blog, so I’m safe. 🙂

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